Clive Thompson's article "Real-World Social Networks vs. Facebook Friends" discusses how new technology is demonstrating the true differences and power that evolves from a naturally created social network vs. those set up by a company's organizational chart. The article focuses on information flow among the different types of networks and also touches on our virtual social networks like Facebook. As I was reading the article, I could not stop thinking about the new friendships, relationships, hookups, etc. that we are creating via Facebook these days.
I think back to when Facebook was starting up. Those were days when two people actually met each other in person, and knew one another, before sending and accepting friend requests. Nowadays, friend requests are going between every Tom, Dick, and Harry just because you've seen them standing across the room at a social event or have some mutual friends. Even when meeting someone new in person, I'm surprised that sometimes the first question in exchanging contact information is --"Are you on Facebook?"
Whether it's dating or friendship, this symbolizes a paradigm shift in how we get to know people in order to build relationships. We use to exchange numbers, meet up a few times, and really get to know a person Face-t0-Face. This is being replaced by Face-to-Facebook time in where we over analyze a profile and form opinions before even thinking about sending a message, or making a wall post, to meet up next weekend for drinks. In some cases, this takes the fun out of a normal conversation because you already know so much from your online investigation.
Next time you meet someone new, think about refraining from a quick Facebook connection. There is something to be said about having a little mystery.
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3 years ago
Manny I couldn't agree more. The conversation's seem fake and it feels like you are conversing and asking questions just to confirm what your profile already says on facebook. Not to mention, how soon do you friend someone after you meet them? Is it like waiting a day to call the person? What are the rules?
ReplyDeleteI find this topic especially interesting when specifically related to dating. One of the first things that hits my panic button more than the first date is the ever looming facebook question.
ReplyDelete"Are you on Facebook?" The question came a few nights ago, ironically, just after I had been bragging to a friend that my latest lover and I were "above that." Sure, I'm just as guilty of googling and facebook stalking as the next person, but, as you said, there's something to be said for a little mystery.
I swore to myself that I was going to do this one differently. I wanted to sort of go back in time, before Google, before facebook, and relive how to get to know someone without the social networking site. I was a little disappointed, but I wasn't completely stunned when he asked me the question. However, I'm proud to say that I stuck to my guns and told him that, "there's something to be said about a little mystery," and politely declined further discussion of "friending" one another on facebook.
Hopefully, our relationship gets to the point where we are comfortable in sharing such things as photos from our weekend of obliteration, but as for now I enjoy getting to know him on a more natural time line vs. the information "dump" that could be achieved if I were his "friend." Am I curious? Sure. But, it hasn't seemed to help situations in the past.
For one, there hasn't been that awkward moment where I spit out some random fact about him and then quickly disappear in deep thought as I replay all of our previous conversations in my head to determine whether or not I should know that about him. Two, I haven't missed the jealousy fits that I've experienced in past relationships as I try desperately to figure out who the hell that girl with him in the photo is. And three, what if it doesn't work out? I don't need a facebook page full of past lovers who I will eventually and ultimately hate.
I really liked your post Manuel. Its been interesting to see the different viewpoints of social networking sites from our classmates, and the wide range of attitudes towards it. I found a slideshow that is rather informative, and shows some survey results based on social networking sites:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.slideshare.net/epainter971/the-impact-of-social-networking-sites-on-adult-relationships
Meegan: You make me really glad I've never used Facebook. I've never had to deal with the personal intervention of talking myself out of stalking people and trying to start over, and for that I am thankful.
I've only been on Facebook for about a year and half and I have to admit that I've Facebook stalked potential lovers. There's something to be said about getting to know people the old fashion way instead of over analyzing something you read or saw on someone's profile.
ReplyDeleteRight now I'm having a love/hate relationship with Facebook. Between the Farmville players, survey takers, baby picture posters, sick freaks, narcissist, self-promoters, friend who can't let you forget how great their life is, girl with crappy job who really can't wait for Friday, inspiration quote of the day guy and the girl who posts every small detail of her life....it's all just getting too much for me!!!
It's hard to believe that a few years ago people were so concerned about internet privacy, now it seems people happily and recklessly post their bad habits, weekend obliteration and sagging physics all over Facebook for the world to enjoy.
This is a very interesting post. I feel the same way from most of the contexts you mentioned. Facebook indeed changes the way we socialize. People tend to add as many friends as possible to somehow show that how popular they are but maybe they just add each other as friends but never talk or check statuses again. Even worse scenario is that they need couple seconds to recall who is it? Does that call friends? I doubt it. Friend's definition to me is that you care what they are doing now, are they doing fine or they are not. I will care about them all them time.
ReplyDeleteHopefully people who are using social media like facebook will eventually understand the true meaning of "friends". And ultimately, the new "social media" can be the place that people do care each other again.
You know what Manny you are absolutely right. Although I don't use Facebook to set up dates or anything, I do find myself checking out potential dates profiles to determine whether a date with them would be worth it. As a result, many times when I'm on a date I'm just confirming the information I've already collected from my date's profile. Wow, times have really changed.
ReplyDelete